ANNOUNCER: The following program is a production of Ozarks Public Television.

Good evening.

And welcome to "Sense of Community."

I'm Jennifer Moore.

Tonight's guest is creating a new movement.

David Burton of the University of Missouri Extension in Springfield says now is a critically important time to rely on your neighbors and to become a better neighbor yourself.

We'll hear more about how to be a good neighbor and why that's so important now.

PRESENTER: Welcome to "Sense of Community."

"Sense of Community" is a public affairs presentation of Ozarks Public Television.

David Burton, thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you for asking.

It's a thrill to be here.

Well, I'm excited about this topic.

And I want to begin by reminding our viewers that we are farther apart than usual with our guest.

And that is because we are still in a pandemic.

All of our crew are masked and socially distanced as well.

But we're very excited to be here tonight, because this particular topic, I think, is going to resonate with a lot of our viewers.

You have started this program about engaged neighbors.

So first of all, before we get into the nuts and bolts of the program itself, why was it created?

Well, we actually did a series of focus groups across the state of Missouri in 2018, and the number three issue coming out of that for the entire state of Missouri was a lack of local volunteers or local leaders in the community level.

So we-- Extension has done community leadership education before.

I mean, that's a big part of what we do.

But really looking at that, we thought maybe there's some better ways.

Now, the program didn't start then.

It started later.

But that's kind of the origin of it, because we were looking at ways to really get leadership training and things maybe into neighborhoods.

JENNIFER MOORE: OK, gotcha.

And then how did it evolve?

What is the program now?

What does it entail?

Well I like to jokingly or laughingly say that the program is learn names of your neighbors.

Use names of your neighbors.

And throw good parties.

JENNIFER MOORE: [laughs] But [laughs] our mission statement is a little more official than that.

And it really is about encouraging friends and family to learn the names of your immediate neighbors, to find ways to connect with them through shared interest or hobbies, and then to really regularly demonstrate compassionate neighborly love.

And that's what we've been saying as a mission statement.

OK. And you have been rolling out kind of an educational series.

It's got a lot of arms to it at this point.

And one is the Neighboring 101 series.

DAVID BURTON: Yes.

That is available for people in our community to learn more about basically how to be a good neighbor.

But tell us a little bit about that series.

And how can people join in?

Yeah, we started that this summer through Zoom as an easy way to do that.

And I really began that thinking we might have 10 or 12 people join in on a monthly session about neighboring.

We've got 375 people enrolled right now.

Half of them aren't even in from-- aren't even from Missouri.

So it's been a much bigger discussion than I thought.

And every month, we have a special guest on talking about neighboring, how it's being implemented in other communities or in other ways.

It's really is a very broad topic.

In fact, this next month our guest is going to be Jody Anderson with a group called Apartment Life.

It's a national organization that works to develop neighbor relationships in apartment complexes.

Who knew?

Yeah, so taking a step back, I'm curious a couple of things.

I want to touch on how the pandemic has kind of shaped this idea and this series.

But being a good neighbor almost seems like a lost art [laughs] these days.

I'm wondering if you can just define what is a good neighbor in terms of meeting the criteria that really help out your community and your neighborhood.

Well, you tossed out some big ideas there.

I mean, it is a lost art.

And we can look at what the research says about that, what some of the studies nationally have said about that.

Most Americans now think waving at their neighbors qualifies as being a good neighbor.

And that's a gigantic shift from the years past.

And then part of it started out in my own experience.

If you'd asked me two years ago if I was a good neighbor, I would have said, yeah.

I'm a great neighbor.

I mow my yard.

I don't throw loud parties.

I pick up after my dog when I take him on a walk.

But the truth is, because of people moving and coming and going, I only knew the names of one of my neighbors out of eight.

And so sometimes people think that the opposite of love is hate.

But I would say the opposite of love is apathy.

And I was apathetical about even learning my neighbor's names.

And it begins there.

There's a big difference in relationships between seeing your neighbor out and saying, hey, you.

Or versus being able to say, hey Matt, how are you?

I mean, there's a giant difference in relationship quality there.

And it really begins with learning and using those names.

And I know in my own experience, I had not done a good job of that.

I didn't even know names.

And really most of the people in our neighborhood would have said the same thing.

Wow, OK.

So first of all, at the bare-bones level, getting to know your neighbors names, getting to know just a little bit about them.

And that begins with a conversation-- DAVID BURTON: Yes.

It can.

--presumably.

What are a few other ways that you encourage people to be a good neighbor?

We have a neighborhood chart that we do distribute around that makes it a handy tool-- eight squares for the eight properties adjoining you.

You can put that on your refrigerator.

If you're like me, I can hear a name and, you know, 30 minutes from now I may not remember it.

So if I hear a name, I go and write on that chart on my refrigerator.

That reminds me, and keep contact information there too.

So I think you have to have a system to be able to remember those names.

And then there are a lot of things you can do to make neighbor connections.

I get lots of questions from people who say they're introverts.

They don't-- for me, I-- we took a plate of cookies and we knocked on doors and gave our contact information.

Now, this was 24 months ago.

And said, here's our contact information.

We've not done a very good job in staying in contact as neighbors.

We want to do a better job.

Here it is.

And that was how we initiated it.

But for some, maybe you just want to write a note and leave something at the door.

Or maybe even during this time you might want to do that.

There are other approaches.

Or just being available.

We talk about front yard living a lot.

Some people do Front Yard Fridays-- put out lawn chairs.

Invite neighbors over just to the front yard.

There's a whole book called "The Turquoise Table," which is about this lady who put a picnic table in her front yard, and it became the gathering spot.

Hmm.

So making yourself available.

I jokingly say you do have to turn off Netflix and get up off the couch-- JENNIFER MOORE: Right.

[laughs] --and go to the-- JENNIFER MOORE: Right.

--front yard or walk the neighborhood.

Be available.

So in theory, that will then strengthen the community, strengthen the neighborhood.

How has that played out either in your own example that you shared, or that you may be hearing from others, or even hypothetically, you know, when a crisis may arise, or when a surgery occurs.

Yes.

I have been surprised over this last year to discover how much research and study has actually been done around this topic, really over the last 10 years.

And a lot of people doing that don't know what the others have done.

So there's been a lot of looking at this, because loneliness and isolation is almost at epidemic proportions in the US.

And that's even pre-COVID.

So there's a lot of people asking questions about this.

And there are health benefits to being connected with your neighbors.

We're made to be social.

You have people who say they're lonely, yet they don't know their neighbors.

Kind of seems like the answer might be right outside your front door, right?

Making those connections.

We see improved neighboring relationships.

Robert Putnam in his book talks about examples of a 60% drop in crime rate in areas where neighbors became connected.

We see improved health benefits in ways that you would be hard to imagine, the difference between people who are socially connected locally versus not.

Really dramatic things.

Really, if you have an emergency, your neighbors are often your first responder.

We see that in Midland, Michigan, where they have an active neighboring program there.

And there was a big flood in Michigan.

And they end up having some national news coverage because of how neighbors rallied to help neighbors.

Because they already had a relationship.

They already knew each other.

So there are those types of benefits.

And then, you know, really for me, part of my story was I was just convicted that I wasn't being a very good example of Jesus's command to love my neighbors.

If I didn't even know their names, I sure wouldn't, loving them.

So doing that better.

So, you know, ideally then, it kind of seems to create a safety net that doesn't exist elsewhere.

DAVID BURTON: It absolutely can.

Yeah.

I know-- I mean, there is-- if you don't know your neighbors, like we didn't, you don't realize the diversity that exists right around you.

You may not know that from looking.

Or the shared experiences.

I mean, to make this real personal, my wife was diagnosed with cancer in March.

She's cancer free now.

I'm very, very thankful for that.

But because of these neighbor relationships we'd started to develop, we knew that we had two neighbor ladies who had also had cancer.

JENNIFER MOORE: Wow.

And they became a support for her.

JENNIFER MOORE: Sure.

Going through her therapies and everything.

If we just stayed idle in our house, we wouldn't have known of that connection.

And she would have missed out on that blessing from neighbors that had had a similar experience.

And they wouldn't have had the opportunity to be a blessing either.

You say that a handwritten note from a neighbor can be a game changer.

Tell me why.

And in what circumstances would you say it's appropriate to send a neighbor a handwritten note?

I would probably say in all circumstances any time you want to.

It is a lost art.

A handwritten note.

Communication really is about exchanging ideas, and it really leads to fostering developing relationships.

Good communication.

And I think part of why I got onto this idea of letter writing, note writing, is because I was challenged by some people who are more introverted saying, I'm not going to go knock on doors.

What should I do?

And I had read a book called "365 Thank Yous" about this guy who his life was falling apart.

And he set out to write a thank you note every day to someone in his life.

Wow.

And so he found, much like-- well, have you ever bought a new car and then as soon as you drive it around, you see that same car everywhere you go?

Like, did everybody just buy a Ford Focus like mine?

And it's because you're seeing what you're focused on.

Because you have a car, that's where your focus is.

And it's much the same with gratitude or thank yous.

Once you kind of focus on that, you see those opportunities each and every day, something to be thankful for.

And so a handwritten note, a thank you note every day.

Maybe it's just a way to introduce yourself to neighbors.

It's a very personal approach.

And it is more meaningful because so few people do that.

You know, speaking of a lost art as we were a minute ago, you know, growing up I recall neighbors taking food to each other if somebody was not well.

Or even I was sent as a child down the driveway to go borrow some ingredients if, you know, my-- DAVID BURTON: Oh yeah.

--parents were cooking and ran out of-- DAVID BURTON: Absolutely.

[laughs] --ingredients.

It's hard to imagine doing that now, or having somebody do that.

But you're saying we should.

DAVID BURTON: We really should.

And some people have said that the doorbell has gone away, that texting is the new doorbell.

Texting your neighbor saying, we want to come over.

But borrowing things is-- that is a very healthy type of relationship connection.

You're giving someone else a chance to help.

I mean, we've kind of lost the art of receiving too.

We kind of don't want to bother people, we say.

But those are all relationship-building opportunities.

And it has been a big change, even in my lifetime, of how we have interaction with our neighbors.

So you're encouraging Springfield and the surrounding communities to take certain steps in creating a new neighboring movement, a neighboring culture.

What are some of the steps that you would like to see become mainstream?

DAVID BURTON: Some of the steps of neighboring?

JENNIFER MOORE: Yeah.

I think that-- JENNIFER MOORE: Just the cultural-- [laughs] JENNIFER MOORE: --traits just become more normalized.

Well, you know, I'm working with 3 different communities right now that are asking that question, that are wanting to launch a sort of neighboring movement in their communities.

What would that look like?

JENNIFER MOORE: Where are those?

May I ask?

And-- JENNIFER MOORE: Are you-- are you able to share?

They've not made their announcements-- JENNIFER MOORE: OK. Fair enough.

--public yet.

JENNIFER MOORE: Fair enough.

So maybe I shouldn't.

JENNIFER MOORE: Yeah, fair enough.

That's fine.

But they have-- people love these five-steps approaches or three-steps approaches.

And so I've said really kind of five steps to starting a neighboring movement.

You have to cast a vision.

You have to explain to people why this is important, why neighboring is going to be important.

You need to be able to provide some resources, and maybe even some education or events to get people involved in neighboring.

You need to be able to tell stories about success.

And this is what neighboring really looks like, which is part of what you're kind of asking me.

And there's a lot of different ways that it looks.

And I think I have just drawn a blank on the other two.

But there's-- JENNIFER MOORE: [laughs] It's all right.

But it's the-- it's a process.

Even in my own life, it is a process to get to that point.

And different communities have taken that process in a different way.

I know two of the things we're doing to try and create word of mouth in the community about neighboring is to kind of focus on two times of year for two events.

So we just finished up a week-long series of speakers with the Springfield-Greene County Library.

And that was focused around Won't You Be My Neighbor Day, which is Mr Rogers's birthday on March 20.

And so that was kind of a way to get people connected.

And then we're playing a bigger event in the fall around National Good Neighbor Day.

And that is a real holiday that-- President Carter signed a proclamation.

It's not just a Hallmark holiday.

National Neighbor Day is on the 28th.

And so we're playing a week long series of stuff from September 26 to October 2 around National Good Neighbor Day to try and elevate the conversation of people.

Because so many times, groups that I've spoken to, they have not given the subject much thought.

They've not really seen how it can impact a community or impact their own lives in a positive way.

And once presented with those ideas are like, OK. Now I see the importance of this.

Now I see why this is going to be important for my health, why it could be important for my community.

Why I am more likely to bring about change or improvements in my own neighborhood than I am somewhere else because it's local.

You have proximity.

And when you improve your neighborhood, you improve your community as well.

Yeah.

You may have touched on this a little earlier.

But you're launching a pilot program this year with some Greene County neighborhoods to measure the impact of those changes.

DAVID BURTON: Yes.

Can you tell us any more about that?

DAVID BURTON: Yeah, sure.

That's about a 24-month process.

And we do have eight neighborhoods identified.

Each of those neighborhoods very different in demographics and locations.

Each one has a connector, somebody that we call a connector that's in that neighborhood, that's going to help spread the word among neighbors.

The eight neighborhoods represent 528 homes.

They'll be getting a quarterly newsletter about neighboring, and neighboring tips, and neighboring ideas, and neighboring examples every quarter.

We're working in each neighborhood to try and create a neighborhood directory, not just of names and phone numbers, but of interest.

So that people can connect over shared interest.

Maybe you have a lot of people in your neighborhood that like to bass fish.

Maybe that's a connector point, you know.

JENNIFER MOORE: Right.

Associations.

That's a very powerful thing.

And then once a year, we're going to do a block party or a festival, something that that neighborhood thinks matches with their personality-- JENNIFER MOORE: Fun.

--to really help bring people together.

How do you think the pandemic has affected the reliance on neighbors, or perhaps even made us more distant?

How have you seen that affected here locally?

DAVID BURTON: Well, I have seen changes in that.

And, you know, the first few weeks of the pandemic I was pretty encouraged on that perspective.

Because people were home, and you saw people out.

And the people were walking, and they had all this available time.

And we started doing Front Yard Friday's ourself.

And people were coming over in lawn chairs and, you know, six feet apart or more and visiting and things, which was great.

This seemed like it could be a great improvement.

Then that went-- people went back to their busy schedules.

So it didn't remain a priority for everyone.

But it has remained a priority for some.

And you do-- in this crazy busy world with our crazy busy schedules, you have to decide if this is kind of a priority for you and plan accordingly.

But I do see examples almost every day of-- through calls and emails of people who have said, this is going on in our neighborhood.

We just started a book club in our neighborhood.

That's one example I heard about yesterday.

And it's rising to the top, at least the conversation, the importance of neighboring.

We're still-- we may-- we feel we're more sophisticated and we're more modern.

But we are still social beings, and online activity is simply not the same thing.

You can't find any research to support that.

Nothing beats social face-to-face person-to-person interaction and relationship development.

A little earlier in the show you talked about introverts and also discovering diversity, perhaps even on your own street, that you never knew about.

But I'm wondering if the sort of polarization that the United States is going through right now in terms of everybody just kind of-- not everybody, but many people just seeking to kind of stick to their own affects or challenges your program at all?

[laughter] Think it's sometimes referred to as our echo chambers.

Echo chambers, silos, yes.

You know, and I think-- people will sometimes say I'm a great neighbor.

I go do these things.

And what they're really doing is doing things with people they like.

And so they have sort of a metaphoric love for a metaphoric neighbor.

And when you actually strike out to have that relationship with the eight people that adjoin you, then that's a luck of the draw almost.

It is.

Yes.

You don't know what you're going to come up with-- You're not choosing them.

--in that group.

And chances are, some of them didn't vote the same way you did.

And they don't have the same ideas that you did.

And we have lost this art of being able to talk with people and have different opinions.

The advantage of doing that in person, I think, is it's-- it's pretty easy to be mean on social media when you're kind of hidden.

But when you're doing this face to face, you really have to learn the art of conversation again with people.

And that is valuable.

I think it's important for our democracy.

Alexis de Tocqueville said 250 years ago that this was an important thing about our democracy.

And how we are able to form associations and do things together.

And it starts right there in your neighborhood.

I have-- we have often described learning our neighbors or getting acquainted with them more like gold mining.

Because we had a gold mine around us, but we'd never done any prospecting.

And we didn't realize what we had right across the street, right down the street from us.

It's been a fascinating experience.

And, you know, people can be messes.

So sometimes neighbors have challenges.

But that is part of life, isn't it?

JENNIFER MOORE: Hmm.

And that's part of the arrangement, part of the benefit in the deal.

DAVID BURTON: In the relationships, yeah.

Yeah.

We're almost out of time.

But I want to ask you something about this cultural trend that you would like to see come back to the Ozarks region.

Why do you think that we lost that to begin with?

Why do you think the trend has become that we all tend to stay in our own homes and not go across the street when I need some eggs or-- [laughter] --what have you?

What-- when and why do you think that happened, based on your research?

DAVID BURTON: When and why?

I mean, I think a big part of it is we are really self-absorbed.

We are.

There are lots of different studies that circle around this topic.

There's different factors.

You'll see some saying the loss of front porches, changes in designs of homes, garages that you pull into and shut the door immediately, big-screen TVs and all the entertainment that you can do inside your house instead of being outside.

There's scads of that and different ideas.

And I'm not sure that you can point to one and say, oh, that-- that's when it happened.

JENNIFER MOORE: That did it.

Mm-hmm.

That-- that's when it happened.

I think it's been a slow fade, a gradual thing.

And all of these things have probably been factors.

But we are pretty self-absorbed.

And that can be a dangerous thing.

And it leads to these types of problems that we've talked about too.

So it does take a conscious effort.

I mean, I do-- even in our house, you do have to make a conscious decision to invite somebody over, be hospitable, to go out to the front yard and do front yard living, to linger at the mailbox a little longer so you can see somebody, and visit with them about how their life is and what's going on.

You do have to be very intentional.

And as we wrap up, I'm curious to hear what your vision is for the future of the Engaged Neighbor Program.

Well, we certainly want these two sort of benchmark events in the spring and fall to become annual and become big moments when we can talk about the value of our neighbors and what we can do together and things.

That's-- that would be a vision.

We're working on a business plan kind of for the overall program to decide which avenue to take.

We're kicking-- I'm out kicking lots of tires and looking at what are the best partners on this topic.

And I think a lot of people have-- some people have said, well, I don't want another program right now.

I'm not really seeing this as a program.

It's really part-- it really needs to be part of our DNA, just our culture.

This is part of who we are.

And historically, the Ozarks has had a great history of friendliness and welcoming and everything.

So we've lost a little bit of that.

This may be our moment to shine, to bring that back.

David Burton, thank you very much for joining us.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

And we hope that you have enjoyed this evening's program as well.

We're going to leave you with some websites and phone numbers where you can go to learn more information about this program.

I'm Jennifer Moore.

Thanks for joining us.

ANNOUNCER 2: Here is where you can find more information about the topics covered in this program.

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